Hobbies

Teresa lay on her stomach, allowing the sun to bake her back in tender waves, semiconscious in a chocolate daydream. By this time of the week the 2.5 kids crowd had left the beach while the college kids were usually out deeper in the water on boats or boards. That left the sand free for local shore fishers and sunbathers: Philip was somewhere with his rods and reels, happily waiting for the perfect bite, and she'd gladly tagged along with her sunscreen and lounge chair.

Into her idyll came the sudden unwelcome sensation of movement, followed by a loud BAZAAM. Teresa fell off her chair in an uncomfortable heap on the hot sand. She looked up to see a man in bright red armor reach a hand down.

"Excuse me," the hero said. "I'm here to save someone."

Twenty years ago the sight of those rippling biceps would have sent Teresa's heart aflutter. Instead, she helped herself up and folded her arms. "Who? Is it someone nearby?"

"I believe so," he answered, then noticed Philip hurrying over, his gut bouncing as he strove to push up the sand dune toward them. The hero leaped in the air and landed in front of the other man: SHLACK! Teresa fell over again as the sound waves shook the ground. "Halt, sir! What are you doing here?"

Philip barely caught his balance, while Teresa decided to stay where she was. Her husband peered around the strongman barring his path. "Honey, dear, you OK?"

The hero swirled around, his heavy cape knocking against Philip's chest with a harsh FUFF and causing the older man to gasp. Teresa ducked as the hero turned just as fast at the sound. He frowned. "Citizens, do you know each other?"

"Yes!" Teresa said, and decided to risk standing again. "I'm fine, Phil: did ya need something?"

He'd caught his breath, and shook his head. "No, fine, fine. Just saw you fall over there and wanted to check." Philip examined the caped crusader again. "You're not here on business, are you sir? Don't think there's any problems here."

The hero floated a few inches in the air, eyebrows knitting up in disbelief. "Citizens, I don't think you realize the peril of your position. My keen sense of smell alerted me mere moments before of an imminent disaster, an odor of malicious intent such as I have never yet smelt before. I advise you both to seek shelter at once."

The older couple looked at each other and back at the hero. Philip smiled uncertainly. "I see: well, course, you've got to do whatever you've got to do. We'll just mosey on that way a spell, out of your way."

Teresa rolled your eyes. "He's not worried about your expired fishing license, Phil." To the stranger she added, "It's not like he catches much anyway."

"Teresa!" he groaned.

"Well you don't, and I don't see any reason a couple of people enjoying their retirement need to move. There's nothing here."

The hero rose even higher, his golden belt reflecting the midafternoon sun at the just the right angle to shine in their faces. "I can not speak for the legality of your fishing, as that is beyond my jurisdiction, though I'd advise you to remain within the confines of the law. But I assure you: these waters are full of danger."

"Just who are you anyway?" she asked, shielding her eyes despite her sunglasses.

"But surely you recognize me!" he protested.

They exchanged glances and shrugged, prompting the hero to descend a few inches in anxiety. "The armor, the cape?" he prompted. "My keen nose of justice?"

Phil scratched his stomach, considering, but lost interest. "Not sure, but I've got to check my line. You just holler if you need help, Teresa."

She smiled after him, turning back to the now deflated hero standing before her. "Phil's not overly curious, you've got to understand. But I think I remember you: you were that fellow who was part of that whole smuggling thing a few years back, right?"

The hero nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes, that was a dastardly sort to bring to justice. I have no doubt this current crisis is of a similarly grave nature."

"Sure hope it is," she muttered, remembering how the "smugglers" turned out to be a few unlicensed boats peddling fireworks across state lines for tourists. Remembering who she was talking to, she offered, "We don't really get a whole lot of trouble in these parts. Must be hard for guys like you."

But he wasn't listening to her. Instead, he perked up his nose and gave a great sniff. "Ah, yes, I smell it now: they will not escape me this time!" Teresa just had time to brace herself before he took off with a mighty POOM, scattering sand in all directions. As he flew away he called, "Justice is coming!"

She didn't feel like a nap after all that, so she trotted down to the shoreline where Philip was packing up his tackle, shaking his head. "Stupid fellow scared all the fish away."

"That's something you and he have in common," she remarked as they headed back to their cottage.

"What?"

"Neither of you's like to catch anything, and no one asked you to try, but at least you're having fun while you do it."