Austen Fairytales: Love And Freindship

Handling Novel Disruptions (Princess and the Pea)

Knock. "What noise is that!" There, wasn't that just like the master of the house? Even a dullard like him should know someone was at the door.

Knock. "Had we better not go and see who it is?" Yes, that was her lady's occasional good sense sprouting up after years of neglect spent in the company of such a man, far beneath even her meagre expectations.

Knock. "I think I hear Mary going to the door."

"I'm glad of it, for I long to know who it is."

It was a good thing old Mary was used to the family's eccentricities by now, and went about her work no matter what they remembered or forgot to order, or even how she felt about the matter. For she was not eager to find what outlandish sort of person might have wandered up to their little cottage at this hour. What was the good of living in pastoral poverty miles away from anyone if you still had to suffer disagreeable company like everyone else?

Elegantly Attired (Puss in Boots)

Neither gentleman nor servant cared how unprepossessing the house before them looked after wandering for so long, although the crone answering the door might have frightened away less desperate men. "Have you business with the family?" she asked suspiciously, punctuated by a hiss from the cat at her heels.

Say this for Mr. Lindsay, he knew how to cut a figure when called upon. Despite mud past his boots and the strain of several days' hard travel, he answered as if standing before the finest town address: "I am the Honourable Edward Lindsay of Bedfordshire, come to pay my addresses to your lord. Kindly show Talbot where he may place my things."

With the same dignity Talbot carefully inferred that they had been separated from the majority of their luggage. No need to invite conjectures as to how diminished their circumstances actually were.

Charity Doth Not Behave Itself Unseemly (Six Swans)

Having only met her brother's wife once, it was unsurprising Augusta should not recognize her at first. The clothes and air were faded, a far cry from the bold girl who stole Edward's heart if not his sense (which his sister was forced to admit lost to vanity years earlier).

Upon speaking, though, recognition was inescapable. The tale she spun! It appeared she was the locus of much misfortune: at least five dead, with another destroyed by ill council.

And she appeared to have learned nothing by any of it, not even restraint in describing Edward's death to his own relations. "He thought we were being reunited, he was exultant while gasping for breath: his last words were of me!"

Perhaps he never meant to reconcile, up to the final moment. But Augusta wished she might ask a less partial witness; this raven siren appeared capable of turning anything to bad report.

Marvel (Frog Prince)

None foresaw the reclusive Mrs. Lindsay attending her sister-in-law's wedding. Her oldest friend only realized it by her daughter's furtive glances at the woman dressed in black.

"I still can not think well of Augusta," was the widow's frank admission outside the church. "And yet, though Graham toadied up to her father to make the match, there was real tenderness in his gaze. I almost fancied a glimpse of my dear Edward."

Few might understood these words as complimentary. Her friend, at least, interpreted the best from a woman whose advancing years remained governed by the hops and leaps of sentimental fancy.

Repose (Sleeping Beauty)

Any trial could be met and dealt with by faithful companionship, as Laura explained in her carefully edited (and wildly hyperbolic) letters to her dear friend's daughter. To run mad was the sport of young people, men and women alike. It did not do to chide anyone into caution.

Still, some restraint might be seeded amid the natterings of her history. It was all well and good to rush out to meet the world. It was better still to remember to keep one's head in the process. Now, how best to impart that wisdom in a manner so winsome as to avoid any disgust from her corespondent?

“Take warning from my unhappy End and avoid the imprudent conduct which had occasioned it... Beware of fainting-fits... Though at the time they may be refreshing and agreeable yet believe me they will in the end, if too often repeated and at improper seasons, prove destructive to your Constitution... One fatal swoon has cost me my Life.... Run mad as often as you chuse; but do not faint—”